new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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