Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
