I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
