he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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