Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Randomize
