I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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