The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
