I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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