if you like me you must not know who I am
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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