I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
