Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
