So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
