when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
a search helicopter?!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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