So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize