I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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