Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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