I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
