Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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