Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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