none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize