Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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