it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
