Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
