Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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