i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
