i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
