Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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