Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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