look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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