Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
