it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
