Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
