The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
