Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
