What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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