no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's blow job season.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
