so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
