just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
