Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
