Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize