fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
