I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
