i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
