Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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