I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
