He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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