This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
