Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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