this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize