I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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