well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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