The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
