you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
