Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
