Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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