maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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