My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
