I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize