I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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