so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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