At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
