i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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