He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
