I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
