you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
