i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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