I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
