I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
