also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
