Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
