I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
