My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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