halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
